Part 2 of Glee is OVER!! Poor me.. :(
whoever wrote the scripts is GENIUS!
i was laughing non-stop, my mum thought i was gonna have a fit..
Hehe.. sorry Ma.
Brittany: "Did you see what Rachel was wearing today?"
Santana: "Oh, I know! She looked like Pippi Longstocking, but, like, Israeli."
Brittany: "Those sweaters make her look home-schooled."
Mr. Schuester: "What do you guys say when you answer the phone?"
Mercedes: "What up!"
Artie: "Who 'dis be?"
Kurt: "No, she's dead. This is her son."
Mr. Schuester: "Okay."
Will: "Bring it."
Sue to Will: "Oh, I will bring it, William. You know what else I’m going to bring? I'm going to bring some Asian cookery to rub your head with. ‘Cause right now, you got enough product in your hair to season a wok."
Puck: "I'm not breaking up with you, I'm just saying: Please stop super-sizing. I don't dig on fat chicks."
Quinn: "I'm pregnant!"
Puck: "And that's my fault?"
Sue: "There. You no longer confuse me with your she-male looks. I'm going donate this to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. They can use it to plug the holes in their trailers."
Sue: "You two are the dumbest students I have ever met, and I once taught a cheerleading seminar to a young Sarah Palin."
Brittany: "Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?"
Emma: I was just wondering why Madonna's playing everywhere except my office.
Sue: Well, it's simple, Arlene. You don't deserve the power of Madonna. You have none of her self-confidence, her power over her body, or her sexual magnetism. Simply put, you have all the sensuality of one of those pandas down at the zoo who refused to mate.
Rachel: I just want to be ready. I know I'm getting older and these things are gonna happen someday, but how do I stop a guy from getting mad at me for saying no?
Santana: Just do what I do. Never say no.
Brittany: Oh totally. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Sorry, Quinn.
Sue (to Will): I want you to listen very closely. You can have Barbras, your Chers, and your Christinas, and... wow, I just lost my train of thought. You have so much margarine in your hair.
Sue (to the Cheerios): Sloppy freak-show babies: Somewhere in the English countryside in a stately manor home, Madonna is weeping. Hit the showers! [sniffing] Oh, hey, William. I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair.
Will: Wow, Sue. I'm really impressed.
Sue: Yeah, well, Madonna is a legend. I want my girls to learn all the lessons she has to offer: strength, independence. Nobody quite like the Material Girl to empower my Cheerios. Just like your hairdresser has empowered you to look absolutely ridiculous.
Sue: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put in a call to the Ohio Secretary of State, notifying them I will no longer be carrying photo ID. You know why? People should know who I am.
Tracy Pendergrass: Sue, when I met you, I disliked you: You're bossy, insulting, and the fact that you twice called me Rerun makes me think you're a little racist.
Sue (to Kurt and Mercedes): How do you two not have a show on Bravo?
Kurt: Finn, we need to talk. We have to break up our parents immediately. I screwed up. I feel like the guy who set up Liza and David Gest.
Sue: Will, I may buy a small diaper for your chin because it looks like a baby's ass.
Artie (pointing at Brittany): Um, excuse me. Why is she here?
Brittany: I've been here since first period. I had a cold. I took all my antibiotics at the same time, and now I can't remember how to leave. I also don't know why I only made fourth on the glist. I made out with, like, everyone in this school: girls; boys; Mr. Kidney, the janitor. I need to do something to get into the top three.
Puck (to Rachel): I try to be a good guy. I go to school, and I say, "Be cool, Puck. Be nice." But by second period, I've got a fire extinguisher in my hands, and I'm spraying some dweeb with it, and I don't know how I got there.
Jesse: You guys need to stop being such asses and start being bad asses.
Puck: I'm a sex shark. If I stop moving, I die.
Mercedes: Me and you would not work out. You're top 40. I'm rhythm and blues.
Puck: Girl, you got more curves than a Nissan ad.
Mercedes: Seriously? That's what you came up with?
Jacob: Clearly, you're not a follower of my LarryHair account on Twitter. We've been tweeting all day about your new look. You're like a toddler with a loose lid on his sippy cup: No more juice!
Brittany: Your hands are really soft.
Kurt: My secret? Duck fat. [To onlookers] Hey, guys! Just holding hands with Brittany.
Brittany (to Kurt): Seriously, they feel like a baby. Now I know what it’s like to date a baby.
Sue: So you like show tunes. It doesn’t mean you’re gay; it just means you’re awful. You know, there’s only one person in this world who can tell you what you are.
Kurt: Me?
Sue: No, me. Sue Sylvester. And she hasn't quite made up her mind about you.
Kurt: Can I ask you something? What do boys' lips taste like?
Brittany: Usually dip. Sometimes it tastes like burgers. Or my armpits. Kissing my armpits is a really big turn-on for me.
Brittany (to Kurt): So you're pretty much the only guy at this school I haven't made out with because I thought you were capital-G gay, but now that you're not, having a perfect record would really mean a lot to me. So let me know if you want to tap this.
Bryan: Sue, you're an impressive woman. I can't tell you how much you turn me on right now. You ever heard of the term, "anger sex"?
Sue: It's the only kind I know, Bryan.
Bryan: I should tell you I'm married.
Sue: Not a problem for me.
Bryan: And I'm still cutting half your budget.
Sue: Eh, you win some, you lose some.
Bryan: Should I lock the door?
Sue: No. Got a secret room upstairs — like Letterman.
Puck: What’s up with this Gaga dude? He just, like, dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?
Kurt: Lady Gaga is a woman! She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary-pushing, the most theatrical performer of our generation, and she changes her look faster than Brit changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.
Artie (to Tina, in non-Goth clothes): It's so weird.
Finn: This so isn't you.
Tina: I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian.
Mr Schue: Tina, are there any other looks you can try?
Santana: Biker chick?
Finn: Cowgirl?
Mercedes: Hoodrat.
Quinn: Computer programmer?
Brittany: Cross-country skier.
Puck: Catholic schoolgirl?
Brittany: Happy Meal, no onions. Or a chicken.
Finn: We live in Ohio — not New York, or San Francisco, or some other city where people eat vegetables that aren’t fried.
Tina: My parents won't even let me watch Twilight. My mom says she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch.
Sue: You know what it has to look like? Elvis's gold record room in Graceland — except I'll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around and crying.
Kurt: I'm so depressed, I've worn the same outfit twice this week.
Sue (to Will): You know what? I'm not gonna do this. Even your breath stinks of mediocrity. It's making me sick.
Sue: I know you think I'm heartless, Will, and you may have a point: I spend large segments of each day picturing you choking on food, and I recently contacted an exotic animal dealer because I had a very satisfying dream that the two of us went to a zoo, and I shoved your face into one of those pink enflamed monkey butts that weeps lymph.
Will: Hey, I appreciate what you do for these kids. I won't forget it.
Sue: I'm seriously going to puke in your mouth.
Sue: I have to be honest, Will. I'm having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou.
Will: Well, congratulations. You got what you wanted. I should shake your hand.
Sue: Not unless you've got some hand sanitizer. I've seen that car you drive. I don't wanna catch poor.
Sue: From Fort Wayne, Indiana, not-at-all stupidly named, Aural Intensity!
Sue: Kiss my ass, Josh Groban! I'm an internationally-ranked cheerleading coach!
